I have to write this again, it was that good.
These are my verbal flashbangs attempting to interest or distract you from what really matters.
It is always a matter of us or them, and if you aren't us then you are opposed. Tonight, I read a comment that used sound logic to show how what "they" said could not be true. It compared the thing said with the thing that was and in two side by side columns they seemed obviously polar opposites. How then could anyone disagree?
It is simple, they are not us and do not think like us and have their own "reasons" whoch obviously prove the way they believe, and merely defending ourselves offends them.
Now, what I really was interested by, was a thing I saw in a movie last weekend where a guy was documenting the internal struggle of becoming us or them. And how there always seem to be a million and on reasons to believe what you want and them WHAM a weed of doubt starts growing making your conviction wane. This seems to be quite common. It is through overcoming that we gain strength and must choose a side...pause to consider "dirty diggerman", ok.
Tonight, as I was thinkibg about how each wave of doubt, uh, maybe I'll call them hurdles to be cleared. Fewer and fewer remain. It is sad. One that broke my heart so much (it needs to be pointed out how breaking up soil makes it furtile, might it do the same with a heart?)pointed out hiw inconsistencies are abundant, and truly they are, they have always been that way, no attempt to remove them has been artempted because they are by design. It was the very point of lies or inconsitancies that became a strong foundation for me. So, how does one grow stronger in believing a doubt? This. Interests. Me.
I never attempt to deny a doubt or contend with it. A thing is truly a lie. It seems accepting that is part of becoming real.
Just moments ago I was watching a Joseph Smith story that has been pocked apart, but, really, that does not need to be done. If one is looking for something ither than God, he will find it. Among the things I have heard commented on was that in a scripture we have canonized as JSH it says that as Joseph was reading the book of James it forcibly effected him insomuch that it caused him to desire to inquire of God because he needed to know (James, first chapter and fifth verse, which reads: If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him). But, then in a different journal it tells that a sermon was given about that passage and that was why it was in Joseph's mind. Yeah? So?
Laughingly, I think this is the sort of contradiction they would find and blow out of proportion. But, it really is not so funny that they were even looking and finding anything wrong with the account when it is believed by an enitire denomination to be the way of things.
But, for some reason, my mind was wandering as if often does to consider the big three "why" "where" and "when". Mostly because of the preperation for a lesson that attempts to explain them.
First, I recall the scene from A Room With A View where the hero boy, played by Julian Sands is found to be asking the eternal question of "why?" Maybe I'll finish this thought later...
Anyway, I started to think of the pretty sure possibility of being observed by spirits of others who have left their bodies, huh? Well, anyway, I started thinking how incredibly wise Alvin Smith was and wondered if he would ever think I was smart, which somehow led me to consider Joseph Smith still being alive cause. That is what I believe and it fits with all of us LDS folk. The plan of salcation explains where we came from and where we are going, etc. So, that caused me, not gonna explain myself cayse it would take too long and would likely be misunderstood anyway, to contemplate plural marriage. I have never thought of it as being about sex. Often, i wondered if it was of more worth to me to be loved, or to be sealed to one as good and powerful who eould make a better God one day.
This all lead me to start thinking about how if things seem true or false would not make much difference to me, in fact there are things that are most likely not what they seem to be, and this does not disuade me. And really, even polygamy does not bother me as much as being loved, but where does that come from?
I wish I had a chart to diagram love the plan of love maybe. I feel like I am distracted by salvation.when what really ought to matter more is love.
Pressed for time, I apologize for lack of editing.
ReplyDeleteI wanted to add how common it is for people who experience a miracle, later doubt, and in hindsight we narrowly look on their big picture and wonder how they could ever doubt. We wouldn't.
Yeah, it is like watching someone drive or play a video game and we see clearly how to do better, but we don't when given the chance.
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