I keep needing more input to move on, so I clean, nothing. I look up things that I wonder about, nothing. So I decide to play the radio game with the universe. What is the radio game? It will be explained, but the next thing I want to address is the time a friend gave me a Christmas present. Ok, the two parts have been established so now on to the next paragraph.
What is the radio game? The radio game is a fun game like reading a fortune cookie or a horoscope. It is completely random but you get to fill your time in trying to find meaning. It is played simply by choosing a radio station and before you listen, you accept that the next song is intended for you. I slightly twisted the game to be that the song would be my soundtrack for the day.
Remember when we used to make all if those mix tapes for people cause songs just say things better? It is the lyrics that really speak to us, with the aide of music they touch our heart. Well, never fail I end up with a classical song without lyrics. But, it suits me.
In college I was given a Christmas present/card that really made an impression. Cassandra was handing out her gifts which were cards with a hand drawn photo of the recipient. I was so anxious to see mine. The thought I had was, I wonder how she sees me. I opened it to find a photograph of a sunset.
A natural first thought would be, "She ran out of time so I am less likely to be hurt by not being included." But, I just thought it was so beautiful and the nicest thing anyone gave me ever. At that time, it was my sincere goal to radiate. I was so jealous of the sun. So, I was happy.
Now, what does that have to do with anything? Well, the message she wrote was to the effect that she tried and tried to draw me, but the only thing that came close was a sunset and her attempts to draw it were not successful, God had already done such a beautiful job, she just took a photo and felt satisfied and decided to just give me that. And I figure that is the same sort of disappointment that my song doesn't have lyrics again, when the thought I needed to record hit me. This is the part where we try to make meaning out of the thing. Maybe the music is the lyrics and the thing I am being told is too sacred for words.
