Quiet (yet public) opinion

I needed something, so not knowing what it was I went searching to see what was being offered, and I found an opinion that needed rebuttal in it's misdirectedness.

In almost too many things I see it. Rules and laws assumed incorrectly, but they work until someone figures maybe an obvious, but unknown fact, that tosses a proverbial monkey wrench into a smoothly opperating machine. I use Stargate Atlantis too often, and apologize, but it is best demonstrated in an episode about a world where it is believed that the saftey of their way of life is,due to ritual suicide before a certain age, thereby keeping interest away from regarding their home as a place of interest from the universal plague of a deadly, life sucking species, named wraith. And although it does work, it is not the reason supposed. The suicide performing people are kept safe by a shielding device which cannot cover the whole area so the suicides were instated as population control so the species does not out grow their protection.

My, that was a long- winded introduction to my argument. But, for the reason that I do not want to make a public statement so much, (I see. Make a public statement that you do not want to make a public statement. Someone is lying.) so a long intro might make one quit reading... yeah, that was my intent all along. a long-winded diversion.

I was disgusted by a suggestion, although true, it was wrong, in the same way suicide is wrong, but it truly did do what it was intended to do, no question there. And it occurred to me that although a mind can be brilliant and alluring,  they can also be repulsive at the same time. And that was the thought I needed to break out of my deception, or as I refer to it, my delusion.

Like in SGA, it was only discovered by an outside selfish desire that was in no way intended to indentify the real problem. When, Rodney McKay stole the ZPM used to power the shield they started thinking about why the shield was even needed in the first place if the wraith were kept away because of the suicides. I stumbled upon the opinion I read this morning, because I am drawn like a moth to this great bonfire. I truly did not expect to even find anything anyway, but I started feeling those feelings of worthlessness and nothingness that I usually struggle with for a long time after. I liken it to being damaged by a flame, but returning to the fire. But, just as I was about to just go away and pity myself for my insignificance, I found this, and I forgot to be depressed because I was instead angry with myself for being allured by the light which was not what I had hoped for, or maybe it was.

I had just heard a song "Gravity" by Sara Barelies and was determined to escape gravity knowing it was going to need considerable effort, so Instead I gave in and fell back to the earth.

The opinion I read of gave me enough rocket fuel. "How could I love a mind that thinks like that, even if it is true?" It was the exact same thing as the idea of killing all of those who oppose you to achieve peace. Machiavellian.

"Not just wayward, not just bad. Not just all kinds of a cad. Not just faithless and untrue, but a...." I had the same notion when I could not decide which side was right or wrong on "the 100".

https://youtu.be/Hdt7CQ99zOs

Family history

I have been considering many things lately, and one thing has kept me awake in particular. I do not have pioneer ancestors like so many others, but I cannot stop thinking about how I share non LDS ancestry with so many pioneers it is insane.

My husband is one of those Decendants of pioneers, but I feel as much related because the same ancestry I have, if nature plays as big of role as nuture. The same blood lines responsible for creating the religious fervor and strength of the early church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints runs in my veins and I have not be culturally born into Mormonism as a way of life, to question and seek the truth is a key part of who I am and so when I was introduced to the church it made perfect sense, not because that is the way things were done, but because it seemed the way they ought to be done.

I used to lament the fact that my family was always in the exact locations at the right time for the restoration of the gospel and they even did form religions, or were very active in a given denomination, but none of my ancestors ever joined the church. This morning a quote was see and reflected upon "God has a way of making bad things good." Or some interpretation, that is the thought it generated. So, I wondered, if I recognise thatbas true, what supporting evidence do I have? Well, there it is. It seemed like a sad thing to not get to revel in pioneer day the same way others around me do, and that seems negative, but, I have something as significant to think about, by the gift of God, I know that I was formed out of the same sort of matter as formed all of the early prophets. This is a good thing. My situation did not change, but I am able to view it in a way that makes me happy. I think that is evidence of the truth I hoped was true.

Plus, it is as nobel to have heritage of significance in other religions, too. Because, we know that everyone is a child of God and they all need a way to draw near to him. In a class I learned that it doesn't matter as much how far along on a path you are,  but it does matter what direction you are headed. Most religions point people in the right direction.