Bombshell addendum

I was thinking about How I used to be jealous of those fat women who still have a great figure they are just fat cause if they lost weight they would look better than I even could, but it occured to me that their obedesity is not the problem it is the evidence of a will problem. Sure they could look better, but they don't. And though they will not honestly admit it, they would like to look and feel better, but who else to do anything about it? And I would much rather be me and be unattractive but in good condition.

Bombshell

It has never ever been my goal to be the woman who is asthetically pleasing alone, although being physically competent is part of it. I think I have already proved the competence of my physique in surviving death. I have not become every man's ideal big lumps of fatty tissue here and there but otherwise trim, but, instead I am so Thankful for who I am and what I have been given. I truly feel sooo lucky. Though blind, the world does not even comprehend enough to desire my body it is the ideal blend of anything I might ever need. And because advances have been made out of a need to hide or blend in, my unfair advantage has been hidden through my poor balance and inability to do things I otherwise would. My only struggle is that the desire had not dimmed only the ability. But, in acceptance of my greatest talent... if it is at all possible, I will find a way.

All I wanted to say was that I do not want to be the most desirable "pin-up" anyway. I just want to be able to attract someone who would appreciate fully what I am. I think it is why I always thought before pictures are prettier than the after. And stupid slutty types were the epitomy of ugly to me, not a zitty, nerdy or even backwards chick so shows where they try to make a cute girl look bad. I would think, Wow. I really like her hair and make up like that, and then afterwards I would think, well, She actually could be pretty.