this is useless

Please, do not read this.

Are you still reading? Why? I assure you that there is nothing to see here, to improve your life.infact is you keep reading, you might regret it.

Your parents were really Santa Claus. There, you happy now? dare I continue?

One day. I will look back on this an laugh, because it is laughable. it is funny that I believe so fully in a pipe dream. I know something that I could not possibly know and worse I believe it regardless of proof. I think it would make a fantastical story.

Once upon a time there was a lady who was anxious to try something even though she knew that she wouldn't like it. like diving from a cliff into cold water. after a while, you get used to it. The big struggle is forcing yourself to take the plunge. So her beloved companion  went first to show her the way, and without thinking she jumped because she did not want to be alone so far away from him. She had watch the pool below and wondered where the others wenr before they pooped up for air, relieved that they had conquered their fear and jumped. But, al of that was for gotten when se leapt. her concern was only to stay near the only one who mattered to her.

It must be addressed why they chose to drive up to jump off of this cliff anyway. But, once there, they alljust wanted down, which meant jumping. Until Russell suggested that they all just take a hike down, through the forrest, though they did not have proper shoes on for such an activity and common sense dictated that they be prepared before hiking in an unknown forest.

Why were they prepared for this jump anyway? For some it was a thrill, for others it was a chore. ultimately, if they wanted to earn respect and bragging rights in their little camp then they needed to perform this particular feat, whatever their personal reasons.

You see, everyone who went to this camping site wanted to be like the one of who all of the legends were told. No one knew if they were true, but everyone knew that by performing the acts one would become honored and respected.

Ok, Have people stopped reading yet? I wanted to speak about something that I was thinking about. And, by speak, I mean type it to the wind. i will feel relieved somehow in knowing that anyone "can" know this, but few to none "will" know it. I mean if the blog title doesn't scare you off, and my warnings, coupled with my verbocity. nothing rightly will.

I knew that I would have to overcome obstacles, just like others that I watched, but watching, I felt gave me an advantage. I would e abe to endure it well. Pus, I had the extra time to observe and figure out what skills would give me a needed advantage. But, getting the advantage for this part didn't seem too valuable, but I was assured that it would seem much different to me once I was in the situation.

For a very long time, knowing that I exsisted before this life and would exsist after it made me adopt a different perspective than most. The thing I only riddledout in stories was the need to be married. It is probably akin to the reason Adam and Eve had to come here and live by faith, I see the obviousness of learning good and evil, but why do we have to live by faith? my only guess is that it is the only way to obey our feelings, They say that a child is teachable so we become more childlike when we do not "Know" things. If we want to be like God then we need to be married, but even now I cannot reason out why it must be done in this world.

Here is my most dangerously lethal thought. explsive even if not handled cautiosly and carefully. I think I know who I want to be with forever, but I need to know, and something whispers you have to accept that on faith. It seems to important of a matter to risk being wrong, but I guess that is the same thing that atheists claim, "I'm not anti-Creator I just think it is pretty rediculous to claim that you know there is a god when really you couldn't prove that at all."And regarding that I easily reply, why the heck would it even matter if you think it is rediculous? The same could be asked about me, what the heck does it matter if people iving at the same time on earth as you do not approve if as Howard Jones wrote "He loves you and you love him, too."

I really did indend to succeed here, but wonder if I am failing horribly. I know that I will have failed if I do not accomplish a few of the necessary things to accomplish, but even successin those things will not bring me peace.

Why the heck did Iever even think about something like this?

Unrequited - ok, how long we talking?

I got to a strange noteworthy thought that deserve a snide remark or two, guess that makes it remarkable. I was thinking about how short this life really is and the fact that it has an undeniable purpose which is to teach us to love. Further this is the realm where we choose a companion with whom to be with forever. Forever is a mortal term to explain the state on constantly being or something. It makes sense that as teens we begin frantically exertin our independence and seeking out someon to practice loving on. Then we get older and realize new things and instead of just being content and using what we know npw with what we have, we divorce then try again and remary, hoping that we will live long enough for our past attempt at love will fade away. I must point out that there are exceptions. But now life is even longer than it was thought so will it beome common to divorce and remarry again? Becoming the new norm and thinming that we re so much wiser and can make a better choice now... I got thinking that what we see here is yet another type of unrequited love. We do not want to find true love until the last minute. An elderly lady that I stayed with one summer was married three times and she was very tormented as to which man she really loved and wanted to be with. the one who died in the midst of strong passion and attraction/ or the one who she raised a beautiful family with and was sealed to. I know her kids prefer the later, but which is really love? We all like to feel intense emotions and part of the definition of the romantic was something that is short lived. I think that it works to my benefit to believe that I have not truly loved yet, because I expect to continue. If this life is really so short even a long life with someone wouldn't be very long. Ok, I could say more if I divulged spefics, but, I'm tired of this crap. I think I would love someone intensely, it is true, but would very much like to develop a true and more lasting kind of eternal love than the crap that people croon on about. It makes me sick, really.

reminder

Every now and then I need a little reminder. So, that's what this is.