Phone dump (mostly song ideas)

Clarity -
A song touches what nothing else can say. Situations are backing me into a figurative corner. I have to keep eliminating ideas to support my theory, still I will not deny it, and I do not know why. If this is insanity why are you my clarity. I would give, sacrifice?, everything to have this one thing. Is it worth it? It is like choosing a major in college. Dreams had to be dismissed, but it focused me. Likewise, things I thought were monumental, I am being forced to realize they do not matter so much afterall, but the thing I want would be worth it, but would the chance at what I want be worth it? There are so many things I ought to have considered, but only now am realizing.

Here is how it works. I use a belief as a prop or crutch. I depend wholely on it and if I believe it, I must stay alive. If I believe it I must correct my wrongs. I want to correct my wrongs in my way to achieve peace of mind, but that peace of mind only comes from believing that my crutch is right, so how could I choose between them? If this is insanity, why are you my clarity?

Clarity - how close is it to unity
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Song idea in roughest form -
When you made your first valentine. I was not the one

When you got sick, but had one final request before you died you wanted someone, but it wasn't me.

You asked me finally to dance, and even wrote a song. My friends all thought this must,be love, but I was not the one you wrote about.

You responded to my online ad, and followed with a request that I really be for real, but I'm not the one.

All along I've been beside you loved you like a friend and all I can do is cry at your wedding because all along I'be been so right a perfect fit it seems. But, I am not the one you choose. I just know that I am the one you truly need.

Who knows, maybe life went differently and maybe it could change, but seeing how things are right now, I terribly glad that I wasn't the one.
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Love me, already -
Yes, I love you, and it breaks,my heart to even have a simple part of you forever in my heart.

I chose to run away before
But cannot remember why
I only know that it would be suffering
Unless we both could die,
Cause I could not live forever without you.

But, we both made our choices,
Though yours I cannot believe
Could you really live forever with out me?

I know that you are brilliant, and that's the part I love, but when your act is played out, then can we be one.

Said plainly, we are prone to the same way of seeing things, so I know that you can see things as they should be.

Just, love me.
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My Prayer -
It is all lost!

It used to be enough to want to feel your loving touch, then I yearn for you to hold and make me feel secure. But, now I want to kiss you. talk about forever, I no longer need to ask if this is love.

So, this is it? This is love, the kind that saves us from ourselves and makes us one no longer two, although we knew. We never actually said it, this is love

Nothing lasts forever, I cannot agree, just look at you and me. Nothing lasts forever unless it's me and you. True love is not as rare as we been taught to think, it is not a coincidence that we are both alive even if no one said that this is love.

For the future me

Ok, I'll go ahead and put this here to point out that you at least suspected as,much way back in 2013.

Life certainly did not follow any plan that you intended, ha ha I am you're magic 8 ball. I know things. No, I do not. You gotta have faith a faith a faith, Baby! *smile* please note the sparkle in that smile from my brilliant teeth. They are as good if not better a reminder than my garments, but not as white, but can and ought to be shared, my smile, that is.

Acne, wrinkles and boobs

I have been noticing that things only matter when they are impossible or scarce. As a skinny teen, I was worried about boobs, but that is, because I was skinny. There are a very few girls who are skinny and have big boobs, but this is not common. I believed it was and that I was the misfit. Though, I never worried about wrinkles, because face it teens do not commonly deal with that problem, they deal with acne, so mid 30 ought to have been the perfect time for me. I was pregnant and managed to breast feed, I had no acne or wrinkles, but thought that because I grew in size that I was no longer pretty. And frankly, I no longer looked like a gangly teen, though I regretted that for some reason.

Just today I realized something that helped me a whole lot and I hope you read and internalize it in time to appreciate your beauty. It has to do with height. It starts and ends with scripture which gives comfort as it is the opinion of God. He said, "look not on his height..." From Samuel in reference to choosing a divine king, and something like not worrying about your height because with all that you worry you cannot change it one bit. So, I figure it is better to focus on what we can change when we can, because there are only little windows of opportunity. For instance, we are given weaknesses that we can know our failures and know where to improve. I do not believe that not having large breasts is a God given weakness, and if it is a weakness it is the world and those who worry about it are wasting their time, and if their priorities are such, though it doesn't mean they will always be so, but they are not valuing what is worth worrying about.