I was going to post this on Facebook, but it felt too whiny. All I wanted for Christmas was a DNA kit, but I got nothing. Well, my daughter gave something that I loved, but my husband and Santa gave me nothing. I figured I got nothing for my birthday cause he was saving to get me something amazing (like more than 3 dollars) I got cash from my parents, but I used it to buy presents from Santa assuming someone was going to get me something anyway, cause that is what happens on Christmas, right?
Well, now I wish I had not spent that money so that I could have gotten myself a DNA kit. Next time I get paid I am going to get myself one. Probably everyone thought it was soo obvious that surely someone was already getting that for me. That happens alot, I like to believe.
I am just done hoping I have not gotten anything for years and believed I simply was not patient enough. Surely, when I got a gift it would be all the more deserving cause of justice.
Accordingly, I just lost all of the karma I earned by loudibly complaining, but I don't care. It makes me doubt so much instead of building faith it destroys it. I am dealing with other mankind, not a diety. God is truly just and loving. Every expectation and miracle has occurred as expected my thought is that just as a practice of "consecration" never worked on earth for a reason. It will be a looked forward to practice one I thought would be a shared vision and practice in my home so living it eventually would feel like it was perfectly normal and happy.
So, yeah, my complaint echoes the saying that if you want something done you do it yourself. I just heard a sentiment in the Jewish people in regard to how they would accomplish a thing that seemed impossible. The Rabbi said, "If God wants something done then he will find a way to do it." So yeah, my solution previously was not right, but I am beginning to understand the impressions and hopefully a terrible malady will not be required to make me act, but even Joseph, my son, told me that he was extremely worried that I would not do what I needed to, I had known for years and years that I ought to go to Utah, and graciously I was allowed to Perdue my own prerogative but then ultimately, I was forced, sort of, through providence to do what I knew for years that I ought to have. Hey! This sounds like Jonah to me. Suppose there are truths to be learned everywhere in every story.
Lastly, in life, the end does justify the means. Sort of. I have been maimed and pruned causing me sooo much heartache and pain, but it can and will be done and worth it in the end.
