Questions to the void

I ask alot of questions but I do not think I really want an answer, I just want to send them into the cosmic void.

So, why am I so concealed and meaningless?Is it because I failed to grab an opportunity, or is it honestly a matter of my protectiom, as I always tell myself?

In college it was obvious to everyone, including myself, that I truly was not common and if I did not learn to blend in someone who mattered would notice. And then I got BAM reset, but here I am enturely different circumstances. But slowly realizing that I do not blend well.

Unrelated to the subject, but triggered by a word. A professor told us once in madrigals that probably the worst thing someone could say after a concert was, "I heard you." Meaning among the many, you stood out. Blending afterall is the goal. On the software I use to compose there is a mixer setting and the "dial" reads "chorus" it is a blending effect intended to make any particular voice undetectable. So, it makes perfect musical sense that in a choir of people one ought not stand out. Ok, I am spinning the topic back to my original point somehow...

Recently, someone pointed out how every person hears the same thing, but then how that thing is percieved is entirely different. Alright, that is pretty straight forward and obvious. But, what was most interesting to me was that it was pointed out that despite attempts to correct a perception, in the form of a compliment or something, if it does not fit what is believed to be true it is rejected. Example: "you look great, today!" The you does not believe they look nice so they say, "Thank you, but that is not true." Or just say "Thank you. " and realize that the one who spoke was attempting to be kind, and that is the only thing percieved.  Now, what that had to do with what I am typing? I feel like I am not usual, and that I stick out despite my attempts to just be one of the many (https://youtu.be/LpXMnY_t03M), and my talk about not blending was just a random thought, but I pulled it up and then molded it to what my version of truth is, and so "spinning" of media is given a context. We all take what is and fit it to what we see otherwise we must reject it or *gasp*alter what we believe.

Oh, I need to accomplish something... I probably will never return and say anytjing more, so instead I say adieu to this and send it to "the void". We need a better word to represent that step up from delete but, disposing.