There is absolutely no explination or way to reason this out. When so mm ething is beyond our comprehension it is called magic right. So, my life, or this jumbled mass of experiences, cannot be untangled or straightened out in a way that a pattern immerges with an explination that will not buckel under scrutiny, so it must be magic.
Maybe that is when wisdom comes, when we stop trying to name everything and just let it be...I am not wise, cause I still naturally wonder what then, as if there is no end.
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