a journal, eh?

Supposedly writing in a journal is the Secret answer to every question or difficulty I endure, and it is like a win win for me because I naturally want to do that anyhow. As a "micro habit" I wonder what will come of it... this much I know that.... well, the best way to say/ write it would be to explain a thing that someone else said regarding the way they knew something was divinely revealed...they were upset because they things they were being told were in conflict with the things they had believed and the same way they had come to trust this particular source was through the same "voice" that was speaking in opposition. Anyhow, to try to avoid totally derailing i will not allow my thought to get caught up in another "side quest". Ultimately, every thing to be accomplished relies on its relevance. We need to seek first and foremost the kingdom of God.

My decision today is to piggyback off of already established habits and become the person who always does what is right, and I can only actually accomplish this, by not getting tripped up by stupid pursuits like weightloss or making money. Though I can see it clearly from this vantage point. Once involved it becomes less clear.

Elder Holland once expressed how frustrating it must be for God to rely on mortals because we are all so flawed and incompetent. Even Peter, who said that he would NEVER deny his close comrade,  he did... and still recovered from it. It is sickening how cyclical my error and recovery has been, even my husband laughed at my previous attempts to stop playing games, saying that I will be playing again in a couple of days. And I do not fault him for saying that, but being aware of my tendencies, I will take that into account when planning a new tactic for success. I will repent again because there is not a limit of times that I can be forgiven.

Also, at a fireside last night, I thought quite hard and discovered the greatest story I had to tell was my life, and strangely, I decided to write a song about it.... so, I will, any time I am tempted to play a mobile game, I will work on writing songs about my life, and when I start to obsess of health and fitness. I will read scruptures instead. I think that will work, and I have ALWAYS  been cared for. In college we sang, " ask the flower in the field so it perishethand us gone. Gone. Gone." I remembered how that song hit me just the right way at the right time and if God takes care of flowers I  sure that he will take care of any thing I ought to want, so, I must believe that and trust that, afterall I do have tons of evidence of it already.

Right now, I am falling asleep, so I think I ought to take a nap, I am sure to write again, anyhow.