I have realized that true beauty does not come in sizes, and that gaining or losing weight is not at all a part of eternal purpose.
I first heard a comment from some health guru who complained that things have gone too far, now women everywhere go to gyms or what not to loose weight, not get healthy. It was explained that women are supposed to gain weight as a way to maintain mental and physical health, and instead they are taking drugs to lose the weight and then more drugs to not feel the side effects. It reminds me of cross-county races and the girls who would take pain killers and run incredible times, unaware of the signals their limbs were sending. One girl in particular did permanent damage and was not able to run for the rest of the season, and it is possible that she was unable to move around unaided for the rest of her life.
Ultimately, I started my obsession because I no longer felt pretty. But, instead of upsizing my clothes, I decided that I needed to lose weight. Person after person told me that I was perfectly healthy, and it took being called unhealthy to make me realize how healthy I was.... let me explain:
My glucose meter read high and gave me troubling numbers, that supposedly required medical attention and drugs, so, I abandoned that meter, knowing that I actually felt great, regardless of what my glucose readings were. Does that say something?
Ok, next, my "activity tracker" took my pulse and blood pressure reporting entirely bogus information, that also at first troubled me, though I felt fine, maybe that is why blood pressure is the silent killer. So, I took my blood pressure everywhere I could and it was not at all even slightly high, and my pulse is always practically non-existent low. But, that is fine because in my early 20s at Boeing I waited in a line to try the new machines they installed that took your pulse, etc. When mine printed out the people around me said, " I think you are dead." "No. The machine probably just doesn't work."
When I again got readings that were consistantly low, I asked myself mom, and she has a very slow pulse as well. The funniest reading was the time I took off my watch before bed and the next day it gave me excellent for sleep, when usually it is poor quality reading explaining that I need to aim for at least 6 hours per night.
Back to my premises, so according to the metrics and bombardment of ads, I was a fat, dying, old lady but I feel great! Ultimately, I decided the guy in an old class I took had it right. He said, "It's all about being able to do what you want to, or in other words being free. I thank God every morning when I am able to climb out of bed un aided and do whatever I decide on." Health in increased freedom, or having something, not being hindered by something.
So, bottomline. I am content and even happy that I gained weight and came closer to understanding health.
