belong

It is Halloween, yippee! I still do not feel like I live here. It sort of feels like a dream or like I am living here while I visit my parents. I am considering getting some chickens to raise, or maybe guineas or ducks, it remains to be seen. I feel like that might ground me a bit.

    Honestly, I think it is because I am neither sealed to these people or have had this home blessed, and because those things have not been seen to they must not be seen as important. I have repeatedly expressed my desire to have our home blessed, but nothing has happened. I figure it is like all of the other promises, or rather they seemed like promises to me, like repainting the porch and replacing the door ( both were supposed to have been done before we move in ). Nick has also said that he was going to make our garage a "man cave" in September. Tomorrow is November and no steps have been taken. As I type this here, I begin to understand my thoughts and feelings a bit more clearly, and it makes sense why I do not feel like I belong.