Monday, October 2, 2017

Remember how you feel...to feel so later

How he waits until I am asleep.

He acts as if I do not notice because I do nothing in return, but is content to ignore my NEED:

Time I ask for a ride, he ignores me, and my home teacher shows up and offers me a ride.

I wish I made more money so that I could get a car and an apartment. It is sad that I do not..

I meed himm and now I do not even want him. I want to do the best and set the best example regardless so the children know what they ought to do. Nick is good at saying what to do but does not do practically anything he says. Mistakeningly, I thought not taking the sacrament was an indication of humility and integrity...

As I now make money, it makes me aware of things I only assumed because I was treated like the catholic church treated members by keeping them in just enough ignorance to foster trust in false promises. I believed that we were actually too poor to afford almost everything.

He took the kids and I to a food pantry cause he cannot afford food, then played online until I got the kids in bed, and picked out their clothes, etc. Then he left to go watch a movie, and announced where he was going, but never asked if I would like to go anywhere, one would assume it is because knowing would not make a difference anyway.

(Note:another note written a very long time ago and published now)

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