I need to address this issue to get it off of my mind. Forgetting it, doesn't work. It is the same issue that lead to marrying Nick. I believe it is suppose to happen, but I sort of turned of any rational thought assuming such would never help me become who I ought to anyway. But, keeping my thoughts from me is not ever a good solution. As I started thinking again, I realized that I had betrayed myself. So, I needed to force my square peg into the find slot and make it fit. To do this I needed to remove anything that encouraged thoughts of a deeper connection, like most pop music and movies do.
But, regardless what I see or hear, I am still me and Iwill think thoughts that offend me, so I either need to embrace what is and stop pretending it is not there, and make honest mistakes instead of pretending to be a dishonest should be. Yes, Love and family should be central to my life, and that is why it is wrong.
There is so much I am thinking here that I won't type.
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