rant

Though the name of this blog is a bit oxymoronic, I feel private would be the best catogization of this type of thought. Because 1) if I type it out it is like complaining publically andit satisfies the need to "let it out" while 2) naming it private is like making a pact of secrecy with the reader, and I can freely say what I want with no regard to who may read this. Frankly, it is quite refreshing.

Ok,so what is on my mind that I don't think it would be appropriate to speak of out loud? Well, I wanted to comment on my husband's post about his mother. It really outraged me. He gives himself license because his mother died, boo hoo. I dare not comment such though because 1) it really wasn't spoken for conversation so respectfully I must offer silence and 2) he claims that was the reason his first marraige failed because she wasn't supportive while he endured his upheval. But, now I find myself sympathizing with her.

I wanted to explain that though cancer victims do seem to suffer, everyone dies and there are much worse things to endure. It's like he tries to say that wanting to live is better than other wants. Now, I've been taught that we are all equal, but more importantly that we are at different points in our life. I bet deaths are more of a trial for those who live they do more of the surviving. Death is more like moving, and we don't say our friends and family that move away are better than you in lieu of their departure.

Once again, I would never speak unless it was kind, but I still think things, hmmmm.

You are supposedly judged by your heart not your words, but to that end I say two things. I am ultimately trying to be considerate in my speech, and only speaking good might lead to doing only good. Secondly, I take this as a sort of a confession. Though, I learned in a stake leadership meeting once that people confess things to people to lessen their guilt and in the end the guilt remains unhandled by proper authorities.