thinking

This is just a brain dump so that I will not need to remember, and yet I do not have time to fully understand yet...

I know that it is rarely mentioned in the scriptures,  but if men become so gluttonous it ruins their body, when they are resurrected they will have a perfect body. I know that we are taught ways to eat and live so that our spirit might be pleased with its Tabernacle of clay. Also, I have been taught that the body was a gift from God, and with our spirit combined we can become a soul more completely like Him.... ok, lots to think about, how it becomes one of our greatest tests to earn having a chance to have this body and progress forever. One such example is fasting, and demonstrating our spiritual strength to lead our body and sanctify it so that we might have a comforter. Ok, but, that is all about this life, suppose we are resurrected. Well, what purpose would eating serve? Or fasting? It reminds me of a scene from the New Testament where the disciples of Jesus ask they do not need to fast, and he explains that he is already with them. I have been taught about three degrees of Glory in the afterlife, the one called the Celestial (Sun) is in the presence of God. But, whenever anyone mentions seeing the dwelling place of God it is a place where tons of people are praising and bowing to him... and everything  is perfectly organized (God cannot bear anything unperfect). Lots to think about... my philosophy teacher asked if classmates believed that "Mormons" would go to Hell. They did. Then, he asked if they would be happy in Heaven. Then he wanted to know details, like would they be able to remember anything from this lifetime, or would just be like angels or with their loved ones. Then he added, unfortunately, none of you will be able to remember Melissa cause she is a "Mormon". They explained that they would. But, he shook his head no and told them, it doesn't seem possible. Because they said they would feel so incredibly happy. And how could they be happy when they thought that I was in Hell. Anyway.... back up... regarding families. We as members of the church  of Jesus Christ of Later-day Saints believe in sealing ordinances, where relationships can be sealed not just til death, but forever. This is the same healing power that was granted to Elijah, the prophet. The other students are not sealed together, and yet, they all professed that they would be together in Heaven.

Then, the real thing that I still work through with no answer yet decades later, when asked who's wife a woman would be, Jesus explained that the askers did not understand marriage. Also, when talking about divorce he basically said it was wrong to divorce some in any situation, and Moses allowed it because the Children of Israel again demonstrated their inability to live higher laws.. I'm thinking he was saying it was a sort of "fence" law.

Going back even further, regarding resurrection and the effects of overeating  how does such a concept effect sexual laws like polygamy or promiscuity. It is considered a human need or desire to have sex, like eating,  see where I'm going with this? I have been biased to believe it was a law that you need to be married and only have children in marriage, and such desires would need to be overcome if a higher goal of a happy family and children were to be achieved. Also, we call God our father, so family must be pretty important eternally. Again, lots to think about, but not enough time. 

logi

Just thought about that, and wanted to tell the story of Logi. For nearly any gift giving occasion I received dinosaurs. I also was mildly obsessed with Mozart, ok it was a full blown obsession. I named my huge collection of dinosaurs after Mozart and we (my collection and I) had big birthday parties each year for him. Turns out it is the same day my friend Jim Radford was born and my maternal grandmother and grandfather so they got married on that day, too. Ok, I think Mozart was actually born on the 27th, but it isn't as cool so, O always change it to the 26th... so, Logi? Well, I had a plastic allosaurus or maybe it was a brontosaurus. Anyhow, I named it Alloysia after Alloysia Weber, and I decided to teach my baby sister all of their names, and she did quite well, only she called Alloysia Logi and it stuck. So, I had a cute little green, plastic dinosaur named Logi. But, my real fun was I took the hem out of an old skirt and it was nylon (like fishing line). I tied it around Logi's neck and the other end around my foot and walk around waiting for someone to notice. When they did I started running away scared and it looked like the dinosaur was chasing me. It was great fun!

music is pure communication

As I usually do, I started playing piano, and it caused me to think alot about Beethoven, and how he correlated with me loosing my ability.. naturally, I always end up thinking about Job, and so I imagined a similar setting where it was decided that the Holy Ghost would have to come to earth after Jesus left to provide comfort and communicate things... but as I considered my mother being unable to use the sense of smell I imagined it being decided that it was not fair for me to have such a sense, let alone that would mean the Holy Ghost, thus God, would groom who I became in body, because our thoughts and feelings make up so much of us. Anyhow, my number one talent was thT frequency of communication, so like Beethoven loosing his ability to hear would not abandon music, though I would not be thus influenced, but choose on my own to do the very same things that I would be told anyhow, which is alot like Job still praising God, which was the thing it was hoped that he would not do, because he only did it because he was blessed. So, one thought led to another and I concluded that although I could not do the physical act of performing music as I did previously, I would still choose music to communicate because there is far more being communicated than just the technical prowess... it makes me think of Wagner's idea of Gesamkunstwerk. That takes the composition beyond opera or movie, that added to visual sense to the auditory, but have a creation that is entirely subversive, like a theater in 3D with Rumble seats, and scents, like the ride "Soarin'" at Disney theme park, I was sure I was getting choked up by the dust that the Elephants shot out of their trunks. And I could sort of smell changes of the Earth as we flew over it, or feel the warmth of the sparks from the fireworks as we flew over Disney at the end. 

Anyway, I always have this inner dialogue with myself when I play "Moonlight Sonata" that somehow Beethoven must have known what I needed and he wrote it specifically for me... ah hah! Today I connected the dots as I rembered a blanket Ben Wilkinson had that said something like Beethoven was the heart of God. Then I thought. Well, duh, people all consent to this idea of "muses". It is alot like the way Beserkers get worked up before a battle by being inspired by something... artists claim to need to be inspired by something to compose good music [why do ye call me GOOD. There is none who is GOOD but father in Heaven] This spirit is called Odin by berserker and providence or muse by artists, same thing.

So. I am not crazy to think that sonata was written for me. Further, my dad used to 

say that music performance will never be replaced by recording or robots because there is more to it than the notes. Likewise, Amy Cropped recently mentioned that sire technical prowess is nice (especially in the pursuit of perfection) but, even if someone masterfully performs the outward feats, if they do not mean it, then the performance will not be successful.

There IS more to music than we hear. Music communicates beyond the lyrics it might use occasionally. It is that part of music that makes people close their eyes (like squinting to see something better).

diversity of inheritance

I am free today to do as I please, because I stayed awake from 1:30 to 6:30 doing all the things I needed to accomplish for the day. So, I find I am spending alot of my time writing blog posts. This is not what I would answer if asked what I would spend my daughter doing if I could do anything, yet, here I am.

As I was pondering how incredibly diverse I am as far as inherited ethnicities go. I am Norwegian, Scottish, Irish, and German, and as I uncovered more I find that I am descended from many Dutch, and Native tribes. One such discovery today from a DNA match led me to Palmyra, NY. So, I thought. Ah hah! That's how I am related so closely to Joseph Smith, but instead I found early settlers were not from Englad, but Holland and Germany, and when they married into a tribe, I become a benefactor if all who proceeded them. So, out of curiosity I watched a video about these early natives, like those I found previously, they were Mohican, or specifically Algonquin. The one tribe in a video about a 1st person diary entry mentioned how they were beautiful, tall and fair people. Ofcourse, my first thought was that it was more of that funeral evidence, meaning, everyone is praised after they are dead no matter how terrible they were. But, as a teen someone said that the Irish people were taller, and more beautiful than other people's, that stuck, then it occurred to me that somehow I managed to strike the DNA jackpot. And I got the most beautiful traits from each ethnicity. My friend Matt's father upon meeting me the first time commented on my skin color. I recall because it was so extremely weird. I notice it at church with the florescent lighting how different my coloring is from others I see. One time I was embarrassed that I had too much makeup on and niw appeared as fair as everyone else. Another woman commented on what a pretty shade my skin was. Embarrassed I told her that was all makeup. 

But, It makes sense with the notion that these are the latter-days. Now, I have more options from which to create my person. I often note though that although my DNA must be mine (I used to think my results got mixed with someone else's) because I am definitely a child of my parents and sibling of my sister, yet they typical genetic distances recorded to indicate certain relationships are usually off by a few generations. Like I chose my DNA generations before I was born or something. Then it clicked, I probably used a hybrid of all the best parts and then altered a few to insure my body would be the loveliest. Trouble is, I think what was lovely to me then is not what is lovely to me now. But, it is still comforting to think that what I am is beautiful by some standard. Soon, both kids will be home, time to set out treats! Happy thinking!!!

Boiling point

 I started originally with a gripe. And decided otherwise. I have decided among many important things that we live infamily units so that we can learn to be the sort of being that will belong in a family unit. When you love someone and place them above yourself, and they place you above themselves, it works perfectly! We call that marriage, add children... tah day, it's a family.

When a man sets himself first, he teaches that is what he expects others to do. So, recently, I was told that my husband would likely help me - if I ask, but I ought not just expect him to help. Really? So, what that says to me is that if I want something I should go get it for myself. Hmmmm. I wonder how that would work if I did that with um, let's say dinner. I have already stopped trying to take care of his messes and it is driving me crazy. He just does not mind living in disorder and filth. Obviously, by this post, one can tell that I cannot stand it. But, I would be happy to help if he asked...oh this is just ridiculous!

While I am venting, what's up with men and their devices? And can they actually even do a thing when their kids turn to burrowing their faces in their electronics? Reminds me of that song, "...you know I'm gonna be like you, dad..just like you."

history

I have been fascinated with history. I even fancied my husband, Brandall, was suited to be a history professor and then the show "Falling Skies" glamorized being a history professor and quite often the past was used to understand the present and even conjecture the future. I see it always in the news and wonder hasn't history taught us anything? I conclude, "Probably not." truth is history, though it ought to have been so exciting, as Netflix demonstrates, but it was recalled to the minds of would be bright young mind, as boring and dull, and nearly impossible to make sense of and certainly not want to. hence, my generation has learned through historical fiction.

To be fair, what history is not some sort of fancy. I recall a great line from a documentary about retracing the steps of the Exodus of the Hebrew Slaves from Egypt and how practically no evidence remains to support the tradition. "It is not factual, but true". I love that. truth can be gained as much if not more from historical fiction as from plain fiction, which will become historical eventually.

I was watching pure fantasy about kingdoms and kings, and thought, I can see how this appeals to the English people as it is their cultural heritage. In fact, I could see homes, garb and landscapes often described or shown in documentaries. I further thought about ab recent party where I sat next to a woman who expressed her fascination with queen kings, etc. and it was likely due to her family heritage. I entirely agreed!

but, today, as I watched I thought, how do I know that I have any claim to this British history, rather what is it to be American? Surely that is not my heritage. I thought how sad it is to be American only with no origin elsewhere. Likewise, I am sure the British all came from somewhere, too.

cue Family History. ever seen relative race? hmmm. I wonder, my research indicates that I am directly descended from King Herod, who was a descendant of Esau, the son of Isaac, son of Abraham, who came our of Ur, the son of Terah. What does this mean for me to think about and consider? What about it is true whether factual or not?

something funny

In private conversations, both children have expressed that they do not like my sense of humor. However; I find it very funny. when debating about whether a plant needed sunlight or not my husband quoted the internet as his source.

I remember that funny commercial on TV or I'm not sure where it was. The commercial featured a very ugly guy walking around with this really cute girl and she asked her friends would you like to meet my boyfriend he's French. I know that's true because I read it on the internet.