my biggest realization

On my endeavor to loose weight, I made a discovery about health. To say I made lots of mistake would be wrong and right. It is true that I gained weight so, in that sense I failed, but am ultimately glad for my failure as everything I did to loose weight actually caused me to gain weight. After seeing those who succeeded in loosing weight I realized that I was not healthy, I was very thin and strong, but, not in optimal health. As I paid more attention to my diet, sleep, and exercise habits all of which I felt would help me loose weight, failed to do that, but they succeeded in making me much healthier and able to appreciate the abilities my body affords.

I suppose I knew all along that we are not our bodies, they are just a physical form of self and I had been taught and taught to not get obsessed with all of the "body hype" cause it is easy to do. And my own grandmother told me that she regretted the time and effort she put into loosing weight to look a certain way, she had told me that looking back she did not think that she looked good and had wasted her time, though at the time she thought that she looked good.

I have established habits that I believe will help my body maintain a tip-top condition, but, it remains to be seen if it results in weight loss, cause I am technically over weight, according to the wii, but mom showed me online somewhere that I was dead center perfect for my height and age. All my life I have been extremely underweight, so I feel huge, but I am not. Infact, the other day a group of women speculated that I never ate anything to stay sooo small. Hahaha! I thought, well Americans are obese so, it is natural to think an overweight woman is thin.

Ok, did I ever make my point? My exercise/dieting couple of years has left me around 30lbs heavier, but waaaaay wiser. And after all, it has been worth it.

But, the year isn't over yet!