Eternal perspective

I wanted to explain my motivation, hah hah, now I sound like an actor, I meant that I realized the reason for my unexplained and misunderstood behavior is often a thing called eternal perspective.

Here is a tiny sample:

Sorry for that my battery was going to die. Hey, there is no need to apologize. This is not real time anyway...

I often sat watching my children playing in the bath tub. To keep myself entertained, I would bring my mobile device with me. Natrually, a voice nudged me, "why not take a picture? It lasts longer". The kids are always so adorable mostly because of the outlandish things they say. I used to make audio recordings of my siblings when I was younger and loved them so much, so I decided to record videos. Because they were do adorable to me I wanted to share them, or at least get a second back up copy online, so I posted them to YouTube, fully seeing no harm, because I truly was a sheer nobody anyway. Who cares what I post? Well, it turned out someone did and they decided to rip on me full-throtle telling me the errors of my ways. Actually, the reaction only made me more consider that the thing must be right or it would not be so vehemently oppossed (re: to see what matters follow the source of the dust cloud). The harder I was protested the more I wished to defy. But, I was ultimately moved to take the videos down from global perusal. I thought, it was no big deal to show naked todlers, but they would not always be todlers. I would not be offended to see myself naked as a tasked either, but I saw it from a more eternal perspective. If the babies would mature into someone like me, and it was wrong to record myself naked, I thought about morality in God's eyes. Our time in mortality is so minuscule that to discern different moralities for me vs. my children (who are me in microcosm) is rediculous (what is good for the mother goose is good for her chicks. vice versa). So, we likely appear the same eternally speaking and I would never record them in the bath if they were older let alone post such online, so I sort of repentented of doing such.

Too late - at night

I am sure it is early somewhere, but right here, right now it is too late meaning too dark to simply record my thoughts and dump them on a video.

Crud, I already forgot them.

I was started by thinking about how I had read that the way to achieve a slimmer face was to have teeth removed. Ah hah! That's it. I remembered!

My thoughts on having teeth extracted is that is sure reforms your face, but the effect is far from.slimming, in fact, it is was far as you can get, the opposite.

Now, why on earth would anyone trust me? I am simply adding my opinion to those already expressed on the internet.

I have recently had all of my teeth extracted because it was needed, not because it was a whim or a thing I hoped would beautify me. Actually, it has taken me a long time to readjust to my new appearance and accept it.

Many told me, who misunderstood my reasoning entirely, thinking it was cosmetic in the first place, and likely that was how it effected them, but the notion was that not to ever trade god given teeth for prosthetics. This leads me to the reason I wanted to express my opinion.

We have teeth best suited for the things we need them for. If you truly need beauty, removing teeth is not likely the answer for you. No matter the immediate improvement, nothing can prepare you for the loss of self.

But, regarding appearing skinnier. Well, then it stands to reason that I would appear most thin of all because all of that space taken by my teeth is gone. Or the combined weight of my teeth is gone (it can be considered if peeing before being weighed is plausible) The truth is I gained a lot of weight because of not having teeth.

Without teeth, at first our diet must be changed, very little can be eatten, this may seem good. Long term, our body panics thinking that we,are in starvation mode and as soon as we can eat again, we store any calorie we can as fat incase we need it in the future. Another VLOG mentioned that thier need to consume coupled with the lack of ability lead them to many less healthy choices. The biggest consideration is the warning all health concious routines suggest as a reason for weight gain: not chewing enough.

I had such a voracious appetite once my mouth had healed enough to eat, that I nearly choked to death several times. Even with perfect teeth I am still not chewing enough. And, so I think that removing back teeth to look skinnier is wrong because without back teeth chewing might be neglected ultimately causing weight gain which is the opposite effect.

Even although, my pain was so intense I cried in desperation for a welcomed relief of death, my husband said that I would regret not having my natural teeth. And I see the reasons he would say that and I ask anyone to consider it before actually even thinking of removing teeth as an option for beauty.

Isaiah

It is funny how the truth is so obscure if you are not in the same frame of mind.

I think Isaiah seems so obscure because he tried the best he could to explain things. I find that if I stick to trying to be less vague, and applicable to all situations and people, the less I am understood.

My acheiles heel (sp?)

It is very important that a certain thing involving me does not happen. Often, a thing that seemed so good or really was so good was to keep me waylaid. But, the plans of God will not be thwarted and Mr. Screwtape is getting desperate and even starts something like having all of the infants killed to insure none ursurp him.

I do have a weakness and it is constantly exploited. I feel like Ariel when Ursula tells her that it was never her that she was after. Ursula had bigger fish to fry, and Ariel was a end to a means.

It is most hard for me to pretend that a thing has no interest for me when it does. And vice versa. Satan has never loved anyone but himself. He does not care what extra curricular damage comes in the wake as long as his ultimate goal is reached. Does he even notice that it is because he is not ever sincere that he looses all credibility and support. Probably not because,he is too self centered and so are we when we chose his methods of least resistance.

My greastest weakness is love. It ought to be such a good thing, but instead it is used against me. Weak things can become strong. With the right perspective, I will be able to overcome my greatest trials because I was able to both
Access and change my previous failure into a opportunity to grow. They say, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger." And, I am still alive.

All I want

It was recently absorbed that the reason we think things are impossible is because of the way we use our brains to process the enormous amounts of information we are constantly bombarded with.

I further determined that I would like to recalibrate what I can accept and reflect upon so that my dreams would not be rejected as impossible.

The contemplation of how scientific truths have had to be rejected fueled my need to do so. I fully understand that ignorance is often bliss, how utopian it would be to just accept what I have been taught and make things fit. It honestly would produce a certain happiness which I deem higher than the hapiness things like promiscuity and gluttony might produce (a.k.a. eat, drink, and be merry).

In order to accept my dreams as possible, it seems needful to address what they are. So, then I will break down into accomplishable goals what must be done. Like Special Agent OSO and his Three Special Steps.

So, what do I want?
I want to find someone who will lay outside under the sky and speak their thoughts and listen to mine. Now, that doesn't sound so impossible does it? Well, it is. Because, this person and I unaware will be able to share the inner most parts of who we truly are and feel happy about it. My greatest fear has always been that to share inner thoughts and be inspired and happy I would also be sad because of laws that frustrate any potential understanding. Oh, crap. See, I know what I mean, but am afraid of being understood.

So, it is the perfect cage, fear is, because it takes so much hope to break free, like a rocket hoping to escape the earth's atmosphere.

Well, that is what I want, to discuss my thoughts and have them reciprocated and with someone who for some strange reason endures my stupidity, and will increase my comprehension with their every word.

The Luthier

I was contemplating things when it came to my attention that everyone has unrealised dreams. I want to tell the story about a wood be luthier.

Once upon a time, a man decided all of his talents and desires pointed him in a certain direction, so he began taking steps towards that end.

It seemed like every good deed led him closer to this deed of Making his own guitars. He researched the contruction and gathered the tools, know how, and wood. He stockpiled every last scrap he could from his days making Guitars for another company, but he was not content. This discontent would surface elsewhere and ruin schemes.

He made many beautiful things from his collection of "good wood". But, most important became his wife and children, causing him to put his other aspirations aside in order to provide for them. They were so appreciative, but he was discontented. His aspirations first took a backseat, and later they disappeared.

But, of all of the good things he lost wood was not the most fateful. He was certain of his eternal fate. He was loved entirely by his wife and children, and had even vowed to place them first forever. He looked for something missing and figured it was somehow out of his reach because of his associations. So he severed them, breaking hearts and dreams, and still never made his guitar.

So, I will not become discouraged because my dreams were unrealized because others were and I should be thankful for what I did accomplish not rue what I did not. I only need think about the guitar that never was to realize there are more important things in life than guitars, and life is long enough I will find time to realize my every wish, if I focus on what truly matters.

Bombshell addendum

I was thinking about How I used to be jealous of those fat women who still have a great figure they are just fat cause if they lost weight they would look better than I even could, but it occured to me that their obedesity is not the problem it is the evidence of a will problem. Sure they could look better, but they don't. And though they will not honestly admit it, they would like to look and feel better, but who else to do anything about it? And I would much rather be me and be unattractive but in good condition.