Happy day!

I found a way to make money without having to walk for miles outside in the heat! This means all round success for my less mobile games and less exercise...without giving up my only reliable source of income. Oh yeah, I lost 2 lbs after a month or two. Finally! Maybe I was holding on to it cause of stress of having to go outside, who knows,  who cares, all is good with the world today, and I am going to concentrate on others and strive to keep it that way.

run to regain piano skills?

Ok. Here is my report. I woke up early enough to run this morning, and the temperature was ideal, which is unusual in the dog days of mississippi summer, I got home, showered, did laundry, and made breakfast before the kids got home from seminary (I left with them to run, and my watch said it was a 25 minute jog). Report is, I felt great! And I could think more clearly than I had in some time, but ultimately I do not think such a practice is sustainable, I felt rushed, and I did not get as many " steps " as I wanted so that I may cease from making money playing scam games, so I will need to make a little adjustment. I still plan to run daily. I was inspired by an advertisement about an old man known by many as "the runner guy", who started waaay daunted by the thought of running even a mile, but he walked for years, but then just decided to jog a bit and the rest is history. 

As I started walking today, I thought, it is ok, sometimes it is better to just slow down and master that first and progression will naturally happen, I do not need to rush it, like my Hannon exercises, which frustrates me because I have already done that, been there, but to relearn properly requires a whole lot of patience, and as I sped up my metronome of exercise one, I realized that I was not ready, though I could do it, sorta, I needed to slow down and do it right before I sped up. I really think this same principle is true for running and the two complement each other.  I found that walking improves my Icelandic, so I extrapolate that running effort would make piano skills and patience improve.... but, though it worked well. I even did a Scottish shower for 30 seconds. Still, I am absolutely going to change how things are done, mostly because I feel zapped and the day hasn't even started yet.

love alone is worth the fight

I thought I was stubborn and immovable,  but contemplation of a handful of words spun into a song by "Switchfoot" have somehow softened me. All that seemed to have mattered melts away when I realize the why. Too often I truly do loose sight of why I do or even am. Ultimately, there has only been one fight or conflict. Though that same battle rages on under a multitude of guile. 

Most recently, I was trying to perfect my physical image without even understanding why. My youngest sister once explained something called retail therapy. It is where you are focused on obtaining that particular thing to the point that it seems like everything, and therefore sufficient to right any wrong. And it wasn't until I realized how terrible it is to listen to stupid internet ads all hours of the day, and I had overcome the lure of $$ once, I can do it again. And this song snapped my focus back to what matters. Money was never more than a means to accomplishing a thing that ultimately was not necessary.

Playing mobile Games is not bad, but it totally messes up my perspective.

Note merely to self: Look up. Remember that minivan trip to Ogden . Was it at all to do with money?

bad advice

In my hubris of youth I was given the advice to never bring up my ex-husband, and I failed and thought it was good advice although initially I thought it bad, I figured that was just my "know-it-all" self talking.

However, as I have had time to consider all of my regrets, this was not one of them, this was a guilt that I carried for years believing that I had disobeyed good advice. But, now that I am sufficiently humbled I see that it is never good to hide the truth and that frankly was bad advice.

My husband purposefully never talks about his former spouse and that hurts me alot. A spouse is not an old flame, or crush or something. If you marry someone they are chosen family and never referring to them is refusing to mention a significant part of yourself. Often, I would assume he was secretly still in love with her, or when he listened to certain songs or lingered in memories of the past it was her he was thinking of, though when accused he denied it, the fact that he would keep it a secret anyway bothered me. And I realize now that such advice would be appropriate for dating, but not marriage. What you never speak of is a secret and secrets ought not exist in a marriage.

To this day, I still wonder whenever he is quiet if it is because he is thinking about her.

My first husband had previously been married, but we had never been given such advice. He talked freely about her or about any communication with her, and I felt like that was healthy. It would be wrong to feel threatened in a marriage by a failed marriage.

Or, so it would seem to me now, I may yet realize a wisdom in it, in the future, but for now, I will not feel guilt over failing to heed stupid advice.

maybe

I have a reoccurring thought that the reason I failed is a time old version of what was warned even in the Bible. We need to surround ourselves with like-minded or at least like-intended individuals and pretty much all of my repeats and failures are not due to the incorrect desire of my heart, or even a lack of faith, but a lack of support.

An analogy would be someone wants an Xbox, but their parents say no. Ok. Simple, save up and get it on your own, or re organize that it must be wrong to want something they could not have.

just a quick flash of a thought

I needed to record this for the purpose of providing a history of my studies.

I always thought that my grandmother plans to become fit failed because I still gained weight, but it just occurred to me that I was not doing enough to counteract all of the weight gain, but it did all work, and I could have potentially gained so much more weight. As it is, I am only upset that I am normal and no longer underweight. I truly should be happy. In my 20's I weighed 140lbs, so if in my 50's I weigh 160, that is not terrible or a losing situation. Likely, I ought to be glad I  exercised so much, and if I truly watched the data I would see the good that all my effort was producing. It was what I was supposing should happened that meant failure, what actually happened was not a failure.

notes

Ask AI questions, sure but get answers only. We get and need revelation which comes from God.

Let technology support, not suplant revelation.

Do not be naive and gullible, but  consult wisdom previously obtained to be the decider of your fate.

Anchor choices in doctrine! And use multiple witnesses before deciding on truth.