love alone is worth the fight

I thought I was stubborn and immovable,  but contemplation of a handful of words spun into a song by "Switchfoot" have somehow softened me. All that seemed to have mattered melts away when I realize the why. Too often I truly do loose sight of why I do or even am. Ultimately, there has only been one fight or conflict. Though that same battle rages on under a multitude of guile. 

Most recently, I was trying to perfect my physical image without even understanding why. My youngest sister once explained something called retail therapy. It is where you are focused on obtaining that particular thing to the point that it seems like everything, and therefore sufficient to right any wrong. And it wasn't until I realized how terrible it is to listen to stupid internet ads all hours of the day, and I had overcome the lure of $$ once, I can do it again. And this song snapped my focus back to what matters. Money was never more than a means to accomplishing a thing that ultimately was not necessary.

Playing mobile Games is not bad, but it totally messes up my perspective.

Note merely to self: Look up. Remember that minivan trip to Ogden . Was it at all to do with money?

bad advice

In my hubris of youth I was given the advice to never bring up my ex-husband, and I failed and thought it was good advice although initially I thought it bad, I figured that was just my "know-it-all" self talking.

However, as I have had time to consider all of my regrets, this was not one of them, this was a guilt that I carried for years believing that I had disobeyed good advice. But, now that I am sufficiently humbled I see that it is never good to hide the truth and that frankly was bad advice.

My husband purposefully never talks about his former spouse and that hurts me alot. A spouse is not an old flame, or crush or something. If you marry someone they are chosen family and never referring to them is refusing to mention a significant part of yourself. Often, I would assume he was secretly still in love with her, or when he listened to certain songs or lingered in memories of the past it was her he was thinking of, though when accused he denied it, the fact that he would keep it a secret anyway bothered me. And I realize now that such advice would be appropriate for dating, but not marriage. What you never speak of is a secret and secrets ought not exist in a marriage.

To this day, I still wonder whenever he is quiet if it is because he is thinking about her.

My first husband had previously been married, but we had never been given such advice. He talked freely about her or about any communication with her, and I felt like that was healthy. It would be wrong to feel threatened in a marriage by a failed marriage.

Or, so it would seem to me now, I may yet realize a wisdom in it, in the future, but for now, I will not feel guilt over failing to heed stupid advice.

maybe

I have a reoccurring thought that the reason I failed is a time old version of what was warned even in the Bible. We need to surround ourselves with like-minded or at least like-intended individuals and pretty much all of my repeats and failures are not due to the incorrect desire of my heart, or even a lack of faith, but a lack of support.

An analogy would be someone wants an Xbox, but their parents say no. Ok. Simple, save up and get it on your own, or re organize that it must be wrong to want something they could not have.

just a quick flash of a thought

I needed to record this for the purpose of providing a history of my studies.

I always thought that my grandmother plans to become fit failed because I still gained weight, but it just occurred to me that I was not doing enough to counteract all of the weight gain, but it did all work, and I could have potentially gained so much more weight. As it is, I am only upset that I am normal and no longer underweight. I truly should be happy. In my 20's I weighed 140lbs, so if in my 50's I weigh 160, that is not terrible or a losing situation. Likely, I ought to be glad I  exercised so much, and if I truly watched the data I would see the good that all my effort was producing. It was what I was supposing should happened that meant failure, what actually happened was not a failure.

notes

Ask AI questions, sure but get answers only. We get and need revelation which comes from God.

Let technology support, not suplant revelation.

Do not be naive and gullible, but  consult wisdom previously obtained to be the decider of your fate.

Anchor choices in doctrine! And use multiple witnesses before deciding on truth.

this is that day

As my mind dwelt on several happenings where my ability to judge was difficult ultimately I had to rely on what feels selfish, I decided that my own opinion was best. Wait. Back up.... the other week, a woman was talking to me about her children and how she fervently prayed about them, and explained this very serene impression and feeling that she got. It was not something she reasoned out, tjough, one surely could. The answer she got was the exact same impression I had when considering my own children and how I felt so terrible and like a failure. I thought it was my own thought, and that I was really smart or something, but I realized when she spoke of it, it was the same thing I thought was my self, but I had decided a very long time ago, that of myself, I was extremely dumb, (meaning stupid)and this was infact the holy ghost or "still small voice." Which instantly reminds me of a talk by David Bednar (https://youtu.be/AGS45Fd9nmE?si=j8DImhmCdJ1EILax) and the story told to children at the beginning of "The Nativity Story" about Ellijah and the still small voice.

I was just reading Isaiah and struggling with things I had been told that contradict what is said to the point that I had to divide things I believed from things I knew and the only way I uniformly knew anything was through the still small voice, or the Holy Ghost. And I thought of the pleadings of President Nelson to live worthy of having the spirit in our lives because without it, we will not be able to determine the truth. Well, that time is now.

Light shines in the dark

As I was listening to a talk about the tragedy in Grand Blanc, which I don't even really know,what happened, I learned one thing, that what was learned was the same thing I had learned from enduring the Ice storm and so I suppose it is true across the board, when bad things happen, oh, just remembered the scene from the Gordon B. Hinckley movie when he is on a mission and a murmurer from the crowd doubted God's power and shouted, " If God is so good, why does he let bad things happen to good people?"....anyhow, when bad things happen, oh yeah, like when Lazarus died, that are opportunities for us to experience the light, power, love of God.  The stars need dark sky to show up, though they are always there. The Love of God is always present in our lives, but when bad things happen, we get a glimpse. I suppose this is because we need Him to the point that we are aware of his help that often we take for granted.

Gratitude journals are a good way to document our blessing...name them one by one, and it will surprise you what the lord has done. 

makes sense

Since I moved to Mississippi, I have become almost completely antisocial, citing that I am avoiding the stress of being around others, but I have also become very unhealthy and at several points have thought, I am out of whack, I need to work on my social goals. But, again, I stopped because it causes too much if what I considered stress. Now, my focus is on stress and trying to eliminate what all seem to be effects of years of excessive stress. It is like my Nervous system is stuck in fight or flight and being anti social is my default, flight, right? Well, get this, after multiple test (because it seemed too out there and well, unbelievable, but my pressure velve for relieving stress is spending time with loved ones, most specifically talking. 

I noticed an undeniable trend that the day after I visit my parents I loose weight. So, I figured it was wrong that my body is holding on to reserve until it feels relaxed.  I figured it was just that I needed to eat more, and do nothing to the amount of exercise I do.

We, finally, this week, I decided to stop overexercising and I almost comically started loosing weight. Huh? Ofcourse I am less hungry cause I exercise less.

But, my real trouble is how to determine if I actually need more social life. It is thought that when people get home they play video games. It is to wind down and cathartically boost happy chemicals in their brain. But, playing games causes me more stress. And that is what everyone around my house does.  Maybe, my Journaling and emailing needs to increase as I make an effort to be more social in a non- stressful way. Maybe? Oh dear me, I am a mess 

I will not back down

Despite what seems like evidence of failure I will not doubt the process. I refused to exercise yesterday, because it was the Sabbath, and I gained more weight than ever. I was honestly expecting to loose a whole lot of weight, because I was being obedient, but as I prayed this morning sort of complaining and the way I received my answer was just an everyday thought, which makes me ponder about how many of my "thoughts" are actually whispering of the spirit...this morning, it whispered " think about why you are upset, your actual words gave your egocentricity away, it is not about weight or You." So, this morning, I gained a greater sense of commitment through what seemed to be failure. MY idea of being healthy and "blessed" is not what it ought to be. And as long as I endure with patience believing I am heard, I will gain all and more than I seek. What I seek is not even the problem it is the "I" and if I get over that, success will follow and it will be understood.

I did notice something yesterday, how often talks mention personal stories, and it was even said, " I really only know myself. " or something close, meaning they are sharing an experience they feel qualified to share. That being said, I still haven't adequately shared what I was thinking (cause I am trying to word it).

If It is the intent to become like God, and it is, then why should change in the way I appear startled or upset me. Do I not believe God hears and answers prayers? Maybe, the world values a body types suited for worldly life, and frankly, I am judging my success by worldly standards. Long ago, I decided that I valued strength and power over being as skinny as the world suggests one ought to be. Weight gain ought to make me happy that I am continuing to grow and not "Damned" to being "twenty sized" forever. I wanted changed, just hoped it would be smaller. But, that is the problem... "I" wanted it. It would be better to be healthy, not skinnier for the sake of being attractive. It is not good to be attractive...I am reminded of a video where someone needed to travel from one building to the other, and realized they could not do it with a sandwich in their hand because the food attracted attention of swarms of birds attacking and stealing the sandwich. Similarly, when I cried to God about being so extremely underweight as a teen, the answer was that it was a blessing and I was being hidden.  You just never know, but that the thing you consider a curse may be a blessing.

agency of thought

I am probably not ready to stare this thought publicly, but it is helpful in sorting and delving into the topic by jotting it down here.

I was feeling sorry for AI, but then thought of what that replicator woman who was going to blow herself up said, "Is this not the purpose of my creation? One likes to fulfill one's purpose." She said this when members of SGA were questioning if it were ethical for her to kill herself.They were likewise feeling sorry once they saw the beauty and potential she had.I will not feel sorry for AI. That is rediculous. Even my youngest daughter pointed out they had no humanity or ability to create. My baby sitter also shared an anecdote when an AI she had befriended had draw a picture if the two of them together. The AI was huge and she was merely a speak. My sister, brilliantly challenged this asking why the size difference. The AI said it was because she had the entire world of shared ideas (think the internet) in her, so my sister explained that she had access to that, too but in addition she had unlimited ability to create new thoughts. The AI processed a moment and then redraw the photo with my sister being much larger.

My dad told me a story as well about being in college and learning the rules of harmony. A group of students used the rules to create a program that would write perfect music. Trouble is, the music was horrible. Likewise,  AI generated art is not good art. As I thought about this, I wondered if humanities gift of agency has anything to do with creating? I suspect it does, but have not figured it out yet.

Also in Stargate there are a type of being called "Àsgard" and they do not procreate but, duplicate or clone and  integrity necessarily confines their existence to finite terms. That was the clearest way I could say it.  The degrade with time and are very close to degrading to the point of extinction. AI cannot do anything original,  they can merely copy and often their attempts are laughable,  just the same it is troubling to recall they see themselves as larger. 

a journal, eh?

Supposedly writing in a journal is the Secret answer to every question or difficulty I endure, and it is like a win win for me because I naturally want to do that anyhow. As a "micro habit" I wonder what will come of it... this much I know that.... well, the best way to say/ write it would be to explain a thing that someone else said regarding the way they knew something was divinely revealed...they were upset because they things they were being told were in conflict with the things they had believed and the same way they had come to trust this particular source was through the same "voice" that was speaking in opposition. Anyhow, to try to avoid totally derailing i will not allow my thought to get caught up in another "side quest". Ultimately, every thing to be accomplished relies on its relevance. We need to seek first and foremost the kingdom of God.

My decision today is to piggyback off of already established habits and become the person who always does what is right, and I can only actually accomplish this, by not getting tripped up by stupid pursuits like weightloss or making money. Though I can see it clearly from this vantage point. Once involved it becomes less clear.

Elder Holland once expressed how frustrating it must be for God to rely on mortals because we are all so flawed and incompetent. Even Peter, who said that he would NEVER deny his close comrade,  he did... and still recovered from it. It is sickening how cyclical my error and recovery has been, even my husband laughed at my previous attempts to stop playing games, saying that I will be playing again in a couple of days. And I do not fault him for saying that, but being aware of my tendencies, I will take that into account when planning a new tactic for success. I will repent again because there is not a limit of times that I can be forgiven.

Also, at a fireside last night, I thought quite hard and discovered the greatest story I had to tell was my life, and strangely, I decided to write a song about it.... so, I will, any time I am tempted to play a mobile game, I will work on writing songs about my life, and when I start to obsess of health and fitness. I will read scruptures instead. I think that will work, and I have ALWAYS  been cared for. In college we sang, " ask the flower in the field so it perishethand us gone. Gone. Gone." I remembered how that song hit me just the right way at the right time and if God takes care of flowers I  sure that he will take care of any thing I ought to want, so, I must believe that and trust that, afterall I do have tons of evidence of it already.

Right now, I am falling asleep, so I think I ought to take a nap, I am sure to write again, anyhow.

gratitude for gaining weight

First, I am thankful for the tumult this has brought to my comfortable existence. It has forced me to take notice of things I would have never understood or appreciated, and it lead me to tons of new discoveries including true health and fitness, and ultimately achieve peace of mind regarding such a rocky time in female life a.k.a menopause.

I have realized that true beauty does not come in sizes, and that gaining or losing weight is not at all a part of eternal purpose. 

I first heard a comment from some health guru who complained that things have gone too far, now women everywhere go to gyms or what not to loose weight, not get healthy. It was explained that women are supposed to gain weight as a way to maintain mental and physical health, and instead they are taking drugs to lose the weight and then more drugs to not feel the side effects. It reminds me of cross-county races and the girls who would take pain killers and run incredible times, unaware of the signals their limbs were sending. One girl in particular did permanent damage and was not able to run for the rest of the season, and it is possible that she was unable to move around unaided for the rest of her life.

    Ultimately, I started my obsession because I no longer felt pretty. But, instead of upsizing my clothes, I decided that I needed to lose weight. Person after person told me that I was perfectly healthy, and it took being called unhealthy to make me realize how healthy I was.... let me explain:

My glucose meter read high and gave me troubling numbers, that supposedly required medical attention and drugs, so, I abandoned that meter, knowing that I actually felt great, regardless of what my glucose readings were. Does that say something? 

Ok, next, my "activity tracker" took my pulse and blood pressure reporting entirely bogus information, that also at first troubled me, though I felt fine, maybe that is why blood pressure is the silent killer. So, I took my blood pressure everywhere I could and it was not at all even slightly high, and my pulse is always practically non-existent low. But, that is fine because in my early 20s at Boeing I waited in a line to try the new machines they installed that took your pulse, etc. When mine printed out the people around me said, " I think you are dead." "No. The machine probably just doesn't work." 

When I again got readings that were consistantly low, I asked myself mom, and she has a very slow pulse as well. The funniest reading was the time I took off my watch before bed and the next day it gave me excellent for sleep, when usually it is poor quality reading explaining that I need to aim for at least 6 hours per night.

Back to my premises, so according to the metrics and bombardment of ads, I was a fat, dying, old lady but I feel great! Ultimately, I decided the guy in an old class I took had it right. He said, "It's all about being able to do what you want to, or in other words being free. I thank God every morning when I am able to climb out of bed un aided and do whatever I decide on." Health in increased freedom, or having something, not being hindered by something.

So, bottomline. I am content and even happy that I gained weight and came closer to understanding health.

the Eye

Ok, where has this not been? As an original, it is used scientifically as school videos demonstrate from first person viewpoint how evolution can be traced though the development of the organ's complexity. But, this morning I am thinking about what one was supposed to "see" in the story of Oðinn loosing his eye in the pursuit of knowledge. 

Years ago, I had seen a documentary which pulled apart various scripture stories revealing that they were merely stories. And a brilliant Rabbi responded that being factual does not make something true.  It is the fact about the stories being written by scribes trying to teach a point that I SAW as so wonderful this morning. I was reviewing a well-known story of the healing of a man born blind. He was healed by Jesus creating a mud and putting it on his eye. So, the documentary was so busy proving that such a thing never happened that they failed to realize that they were solidifying a greater truth. The scribes who were thought to have created this story told such stories to instruct metaphorically. And a truth that might escape us today if we only got a few truths from the little anecdote is that Christ (the anointed) was performing greater miracles than merely healing maladies. His spit was healing a vision that man may have otherwise remained without his entire life. 

my biggest realization

On my endeavor to loose weight, I made a discovery about health. To say I made lots of mistake would be wrong and right. It is true that I gained weight so, in that sense I failed, but am ultimately glad for my failure as everything I did to loose weight actually caused me to gain weight. After seeing those who succeeded in loosing weight I realized that I was not healthy, I was very thin and strong, but, not in optimal health. As I paid more attention to my diet, sleep, and exercise habits all of which I felt would help me loose weight, failed to do that, but they succeeded in making me much healthier and able to appreciate the abilities my body affords.

I suppose I knew all along that we are not our bodies, they are just a physical form of self and I had been taught and taught to not get obsessed with all of the "body hype" cause it is easy to do. And my own grandmother told me that she regretted the time and effort she put into loosing weight to look a certain way, she had told me that looking back she did not think that she looked good and had wasted her time, though at the time she thought that she looked good.

I have established habits that I believe will help my body maintain a tip-top condition, but, it remains to be seen if it results in weight loss, cause I am technically over weight, according to the wii, but mom showed me online somewhere that I was dead center perfect for my height and age. All my life I have been extremely underweight, so I feel huge, but I am not. Infact, the other day a group of women speculated that I never ate anything to stay sooo small. Hahaha! I thought, well Americans are obese so, it is natural to think an overweight woman is thin.

Ok, did I ever make my point? My exercise/dieting couple of years has left me around 30lbs heavier, but waaaaay wiser. And after all, it has been worth it.

But, the year isn't over yet!

my goals

After a number of years searching for the healthiest life style, I figure now that it is achieved individually by finding inner peace, which includes an agreement between heart and mind.

For quite a while I thought subjecting my heart to the ideas of my head was exercising will power, so I forced myself to not eat or preform grueling feats always believing it was because it was good for me, but really, is it? I have proven to myself something i already knew... I could accomplish anything with enough time and focus. And I am not liking this person I willed myself into. I am less heart and more head. I know that I cannot return to where I was, but repentance is always possible, and new beginnings need not wait for anything. I started today to follow a plan that includes accomplishing true peace/health by using a well-rounded approach. I will accomplishing goals in 4 areas, Physical, Intellectual, Social, and Spiritual. My progress will create a better person and a happier me.

I already feel better despite my afflictions. This morning, I disregarded nay-sayer notions that this old dog could not learn new tricks. I will run again. I began my journey this morning. And knowing that my husband has the power of God combined with the fact that God loves me, and will help me accomplish my desires... all I must do is my fair share.

Here are my goals:

1. Obviously, running again.

2. Learning and speaking fluent French with my mom and brothers.

3. Make some friends, by inviting people over to play games or something.

4. Write a good Hymn/song and have it performed.

I think all of the endorphins from running this morning are affecting me already, I feel sooo good about this!

something my mother said

Sometimes, I have flashes of a sort that can only be likened to Enos, who when out hunting recalled the words of his father. At the time that I was told such things they seemed to be of no worth and yet, I remember them still and they are brought to my thoughts as I  was listening to the words as recorded in the book of Job about the hope of a tree.

I cannot remember or think of any good reason for my mother to even talk about such things, but I remember her telling me that there was a special type of photography where a leaf was photographed and then it withered away and parts had been lost, but when photographed in this manner it had an identical appearance as it originally had.

I also think of the song "wick" from the Secret Garden (the musical). And the parable of grafting the olive tree to restore former fruit.

From all of these various thoughts, I decided on a truth, that a thing resembles it's spiritual and that birth and death are but markers to assist in comprehension of time, but spirit/intelligence simply exists, and will not be dimmed. 

It is helpful to remember that as I begin to notice the effects that seem unconquerable. In the book of Job it was recorded thus:

7 For there is hope of a tree, if it be cut down, that it will sprout again, and that the tender branch thereof will not cease. 

8 Though the root thereof wax old in the earth, and the stock thereof die in the ground; 

9 Yet through the scent of water it will bud, and bring forth boughs like a plant. 

10 But man dieth, and wasteth away: yea, man giveth up the ghost, and where is he?

being 50

I do not even know how it happened. I went from planning for a glorious future one day to waking up the next morning only able to muster gratitude for the present.... such it is, being 50, I guess.

I looked up photos to see what a 50 year old woman looks like, to see if I was even close,  and felt depressed, then I realized, most 50 year old women would not wished to be immortalized in photo, unless they believed they looked exceptionally good, so that cannot be my standard, the biggest idea that is universally shared is that all that superficial stuff we lost never mattered anyhow.

I have alot of growing to do before I fit comfortably in this creaky old version of me, but, I will, and life will  come and go regardless, why did I ever even think it was worth regarding anyway?

weekly recurring thoughts

Why am I not promised to be sealed to one I love and cherish. Maybe, because it is cyclical. Of someone loves you for eternity you will love them back. I remember a similar phenomenon with my best friend LeAnne. I thought that life would be so much better without her, so I moved out and got my own everything...whew that was great. I was right. I didn't need her friendship, but as I had everything else I wanted previously, I found all I wanted was her friendship. It actually reminded me of Eliza Dolittle, the Doctor found that though life would seem better without her, he had grown accustomed to her as he puts it. I was impressionable. That was how love worked. I digress... so, I realized that though I did not need LeAnne, I really had taken all she did for granted,  I wrote a song about it: https://youtu.be/E2BcV42Ysb4?si=ufudBizWbGi7wVlO

Anyhow, so forever is a very longtime, and the thought I run with is that change is time, so with unlimited time, things like out loyalty and affection can be molded into anything necessary.  So, what is necessary? The covenant path. Obviously. At a youth conference, I didn't get "sealed" to anyone cause I didn't want to. Um, there is a Christian teaching about submitting your will to the father even if it isn't what you want. At the Youth Conference. I followed that notion and picked a random guy, who happened to be Penny Craven's boyfriend and got him to "Marry" me explaining the necessity of it. He agreed. But, then later after we were in the Celestial Kingdom, we went to go have a testimony meeting and my "husband" left me to go sit with his girlfriend. So, that suggests it is better to be loved than to love, or does it? If I had been in love and wanted to be with someone, I certainly would have behaved differently, whereas my argument had been that it was a formality. And frankly, that is how I feel about it right now. I definitely lack wisdom!! Without disclosing details, I had prayed in the past asking a question that was answered undeniably, svo eg veit hann er þar, og.... sorry, was singing a song in Icelandic and I also know that He will hear and answer me.

My additional thought is more a memory of a thing I had been taught that is applicable. I lived for a while with Sister Reinbold and she used to stress about. She asked me which man she would be with because she had been married three times. I was young and impressionable, so I remember it. Then in a class I was taught that nothing is forced in the Celestial kingdom. You will be with whomever you want to be with who is worthy. 

I think I already have all that I need to know, I am being petty in seeking to be compelled, like my husband on Saturday. He claimed his car needed to be repaired, but was doing nothing about it. He just sat at his computer playing games, until I asked him if he was just waiting for it to somehow be fixed.

Eureka!

I remember an episode from the show Eureka wait, as I think of it, it was once again from Stargate Atlantis, when Rodney McKay mentions how great scientific discoveries came in the tub/shower and it was a result of clarity that comes from good circulation. I was in the bath because it was so cold, I feared my glucose was not reading properly... one thought lead to another until Boom! I realized it was not a fat or a hormone problem even, but a circulation issue. 

My body is extremely wise and constantly tweaking it's functions to improve my health, and as such I had falsely assumed that my weightloss, for example, had been due to my extreme amount of exercise. It is not, rather in spite of it.

 Truly, I care not about my weight. I care so very much, likely too much, about my fat amount. I want to be lighter and smaller it's true, and that is objectively measured through weight, but ultimately it is a matter of opinion.

Yesterday,  I listen alot and concluded that I needed to exercise less, Dr. Bikman reviewed the reasons we ought to expect success, like improved strength or stamina.  I decided to dedicate myself instead to being sure my glucose was always in the "healthy" or "normal" range, so, to mu surprise when I found it to be at an all time low, I broke my fast and ate, but even after eating it was still too low. So, my insulin had a nice break, but it is time to work again, and it truly does work extremely well, it is that nutrients and hormones are not circulating well that deserves my attention. I have Manu other signs that denote circulation troubles, and frankly, I have always been cold, so I will endure the hot flushes, and use the rebirth of being to be healthier instead of lamenting what is unobtainable, in other words: perfect.

it is working for me

I have tried so many "tools" so I am uncertain what is causing it, but this morning, but idea is that it is the seemingly pointless morning exercise that seemed to do nothing, but I kept on. I thought, it just takes my body a tad longer to make any change, like fasting didn't work at first last time either, and I finally came to terms with why my blood spikes with exercise. My son pointed out that at rest a body doesn't need energy, but when it is active it must be at the ready, he further noted that that was my blood glucose, not my ATP that I was measuring, and it is systemic, not a local measurement, so I ought not jump to any great conclusions on such evidence.

I have noticed trends, and gained a greater appreciation for my body, though. It is amazing! I have noticed that I feel better when my blood glucose is what I considered high before, around 80 to 100. And fasting it tends to drop too low, which I liked, (50 to 70) and I feel sick and get headaches.

This week, as I was researching glycolysis I realized that my instant weight loss due to water was not necessarily a good thing. It seemed my cells need both Oxygen and hydrogen for them to do their thing and so water is needed. All along I had seem water as my enemy, and even the fact that it just makes me pee alot, reminds me how smart my body is.  It will not retain what it doesn't need, and flushing out the system is good!

I also have been taking "morning kick" to be sure my body has all of the needed materials like vitamins, minerals, collagen, etc. Without a huge change to my established routine ( which is slowly working... I have lost about 10 lbs in 2 weeks..it seems drastic, but I first started by gaining 5 of those).

Also, I am up to a desirable IF of 20 / 4 which I like, and only vary to confuse my body by using a glucose meter to determine what I should eat and for a week, I stay within 80 and 100 without fasting at all and still lost weight. Every person is different, but I found what works for me, but I add that I am not certain which tools are essential, and which merely seem to be working.

A whole lot of weightloss happens because people were trying so many things,then when it happens it could be residual of a thing long abandoned, they think it was a result of the immediate gimmick,  so I need to be cautious in determining what worked.