being 50

I do not even know how it happened. I went from planning for a glorious future one day to waking up the next morning only able to muster gratitude for the present.... such it is, being 50, I guess.

I looked up photos to see what a 50 year old woman looks like, to see if I was even close,  and felt depressed, then I realized, most 50 year old women would not wished to be immortalized in photo, unless they believed they looked exceptionally good, so that cannot be my standard, the biggest idea that is universally shared is that all that superficial stuff we lost never mattered anyhow.

I have alot of growing to do before I fit comfortably in this creaky old version of me, but, I will, and life will  come and go regardless, why did I ever even think it was worth regarding anyway?