I was thinking about how much I have changed from the girl I was and have come to appreciate all I achieved and so I feel more accutely, almost anew, the horror of everything I lost. I need to remind myself that all sacrifice is exactly that. Only the sacrifice was not as large in my mind as it truly was, and I am currently really really sad for it. Though, if one continues to follow my progress it may come quickly, or maybe in hindsight you, as a reader already know the plot twist and the envitable end, so maybe you can feel a,bit like God in knowing what I do not, I only hope and right now I suffer because the end is a mystery to me. I only see what I lost. I recently saw a show and in it a carachter said this, "I came to know that my past was not going to determine my future."
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