Confession?

I always looked down on the practice of confessing sins and the punishments seemed equally rediculous. But, now, as I mature I can see the sense in it.

At a stake leadership meeting in Nashville TN stake, the young woman leaders were warned not to try to substitute as a judge in Israel when listening to young women share their problems. The stake presidency explained that although it is a caring behavior, those who comitted the sin feel a false sense of relief and the pain of the sin does not bother them anymore and so they never confess to anyone who could truly help.

For years, I have beatten myself up over things I had done and opportunities I felt I ought to take, but didn't. Most importantly, and it troubles me still how I clearly knew that I was looked to to be an example and I behaved shamefully. As a teen, I also made almost too many teachers cry and drove people away from the church because they did not want to be anywhere near me.

Recently, in an interview, I was asked if there was a thing at all that was awry or needed to be resolved. And so I confessed and apologized for pirating movies and games for my children. I honestly promised that I would never do it again and know what? He believed me and said that I was entirely forgiven,and that I should do it no more. I feel like I was actually understood and wholely forgiven, and any time I am tempted I remember that I honestly was forgiven as if I never had done it, as long as I no longer do it.

So, in turmoil about these little things, I felt like No matter what good I did I would never be allowed back in Heavenly Father's presence unless I confessed to one able to forgive. Then, I read this today:

      When I found him that day at
      church, I said, “I just wanted to
      apologize for my terrible behavior
      in your class. You were always one.
     of my favorites, and I never paid.
     attention like I should.” He stopped.
     me right there and smiled. “Never.
     apologize for the things you did as.
     a teenager,” he said. “What you do.
     as a teenager is an important part.
     of growing up and becoming an.
     adult. You must do those things or.
     you will never become an.
     independent, mature person. There
      is no need to apologize.”

Now, I cannot say with 100% accuracy that this is true. And, The real drawback I see is we are failing to create proper morality by excusing punishment after accountability. But, it did make me feel better to know that offended others might have had such a view of me. A really wonderful friend has mentioned before if man is capable of such behavior, imagine what an all knowing and loving Father in Heaven does.

I have also heard a story where a boy is told to hammer a nail into a fence anytime he is displeased with his actions and then, anytime he is pleased with his ability to control his nature he may remove a nail.

When he finally removed the last nail that he had hammered and felt a great sense of accomplishment. He ran and told his parents. His mother congratulated him and hugged and kissed him in reward. His father asked him why there were so many holes in the fence if he was truly sorry.

Another woman found two quotes that to me spoke of the great love required to forgive, it seems the ultimate expression of love, to me.

That unruly teenager in me asks, "well, then maybe we all need to go do something really bad to someone if we ever hope to really love them."...see what I mean?

Please forgive that, any thought could produce an oposing view (a.k.a. playing the devil's advocate).