Just realized it

So, as I was listening to the song I think it was called Ain't Nobody. Which is sorta kinda funny as I type it I realize when typed it means something different than it seemed so entirely when I heard it, cause of the double negative. Anyhow, just as I figured out that God was the one who loved me so much. I felt proud might be the word, to have had so many experiences where intervention was obvious. I cannot believe that it never occurred to me how loved I had been all along. I am really really loved, now I want to listen to that Josh Groban song You Are Loved. As I was so happy to finally figure ot out although I had even been directly and bluntly told that it was significant to realize how much God loves me, I realize that he loves everyone that much, it is no distinction. It is a fact.

It's like this. I would do practically anything for Lena cause I love her so much, but that doesn't mean I would do anything less for another child as well. Until I was a parent I frowned upon calling parental love love. It was not a choice really. It just happens and has no bounds. I never doubted that my parents loved me and I also knew they loved each of my siblings as much so being loved by a parent did not make me feel special. I knew I was a child of God and thereby loved. Now, as a parent I know there is more to it and it is not just a given thing. I seriously and completly love each child and even come to tears thinking about it or when I make promises to always watch out for them, not even being sure I can do so after death, but assure them that if there is anyway, they can be sure that I will find it for them! It is a true and powerful love that doesn't NEED to exist. So, God feels about me and He actually knows me and the desires of my being and he loves me for who I am. It really is loving parts of himself in me, which I bet being able to love yourself is one of the hardest things to do and a very important reason to have children.

Yesterday, I was a bit upset at Joseph for constantly referring to Nick's mother as such and not his grandmother. I told him, after Nick explained why she did not want us to visit her grave (which we did anyhow, sorry), that as well as her spirit part of her body still lived on. Then his interest was piqued. I spared him a lecture on mitochondria and simply asked him to consider where his body came from. And that it was part dad and part me and dad was part his mom, so that meant he was partially her, too.

So, rather than blabber on and on... I need to bake cookies, etc.

https://youtu.be/EGLSk3AVcUU