ha ha ha, When I got home from the hospital I found an old letter/card frm Lauren, the jist ws to live out loud and t that time i was obsessed with Rascal Flatts. there is a song "I'm going to love you out loud", but really i\my sentiments ae more like those of Toad the wet sprocket "we wouldn't be that brave, I know." and really I'm a coward, I feel no less, but am not brave enough.
I remember a Christmas when I was a little girl. I ws going to my grandparents house to see all of my family who I knew well and loved, but when we got there I was extremely shy. Infact, that feeling was embedded in my mind for when I try to define shy. It does not make sense, and the feelings are there and not cheapened or lessened because I will not display them, but that day I wanted to go play with my cousins insantly, but I was shy.
I have had a constant struggle in my life between my heart and mind, but true peace can be achieved and I will have it!!! Until then, I will flirt with living out loud and being completely openand honest, but for now I only recognize my lack and inability to do wht I want. But I used to want to fy, lol, no to slur on my trombone when moving my slide in a wrong direction, but I wasn't able to, so I set the goal to do so.
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