The real issue is with BMI. Now, the Wii figures the ideal based on height. Which put me at around 22 as ideal. I am firmly in the normal range, but, I want to be much smaller, meaning my weight goal is around 17 which is considered sickly and under weight. All my life I had been underweight and I was comfortable with that. But, I fear no diet will help me achieve that. I ought to just be "fat" and accept it. But, really, I have too much fat and not enough muscle, making my suggested caloric intake too high for me and I get heavier. But, I do want to speed up my metabolism, so I need to gain some weight and start running again, to speed up the rate at which my body uses energy to be what it ought to be, I do not want to just consume less.
Out of curiosity, I figured out that for the past year or so I typically consumed under 1,000 calories per day, and it is very hard to get myself to eat more, but I need sugar, so I run to candy...bad, bad, bad!
I think I really did start to "consume" my muscle, believing I was starving, lowering my metabolism. It will take a while but if I ever hope to improve my body composition, I need to not be afraid to gain weight until my body feels like it is not being starved.
I think not hoping some larger plan work either is key. If I trust that the Church is true, then the patriarch truly has the priesthood power a the things he promised can be relied on. He promised health to accomplish the things I seek. So, I intend to try to close this weight obsessed chapter and start accomplishing things.
