I had Moana on the brain since I woke up this morning, so getting some nice take aways from researching Polynesian culture and names, etc. I naturally found myself watching "Johnny Lingo". And realized how much it has effected my lack of worth to have never been even given an engagement ring. I understand the father being bypassed as fathers are no longer owners of their daughters, etc. But, I have never felt even slightly important to my husband, and certainly no one he wouldwant to be with forever, like I grew up believing I would be valued by someone so much.
After I was sealed to my first husband, I was never given a ring, so I purposefully asked him how he felt about being with me forever. He said that was what he wanted, but then divorced me. I listened a lot to a song "The Way" by Daniel Bedingfield and appreciated how he explains that feelings or intrapersonal relationships change like everything in nature, but, really I ended up knowing my worth through my Spiritual memory and reminders that I was loved and cherished and would be again, so what if He was not the one to provide my eternal worth acknoeledgement, it will happen, cue my husband who I basically commanded him to marry me because he seemed to lack any motivation to do so, but I figured it was his intent, subsequently I have, through experience, realized the pain and heartache that can result in trying to assume intentions.
He still, years later, has never done anything to even hint at him esteeming me or appreciating anything I am or do. But, I have found considerable worth in considering who I am despite how I am treated.
